Illiteracy for all by 2007, says UN

The United Nations has announced a revolutionary plan that will turn the entire world into illiterates by 2007.
United Nations Secretary General Kofi Annan announced that the world body had realized after much research that literacy was bad for all-round development and peace.
‘Highly literate people are fighting wars with each other. They refuse to speak to each other, to work out a peaceful solution to any problem. That is why literacy will be wiped out,’ he said.
He admitted that literacy was evil. ‘Look at the bad influence books have on people. All problems will be solved if people cannot read and write,’ he said confidently.
All books will be dumped in oceans or burned at street corners on World Illiteracy Day, the date of which will be announced shortly.
All schools will be shut down, he said. Most world governments immediately welcomed the move and said thousands of millions of dollars would be saved, which could be used for development.
Many top scholars and writers, who all refused to be identified, welcomed the move.