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Location: Mumbai, Maharashtra, India

Senior Assistant Editor, The Times of India newspaper

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Blast City rocked by 5 billion blasts

Blast City, about 2,000 miles north of Last City, the capital of Lost City, in the Disunited States, was rocked by nearly five billion blasts late last night.

The impact of the blasts was so great, said an eyewitness, that there were absolutely no remains of bodies or debris anywhere in the entire city.

The eyewitness said it was impossible to disclose the exact number of blasts but admitted that it could be about five billion.

The eyewitness later succumbed to injuries in the city’s main hospital which later shut down due to non-availability of medical and non-medical staff.

A badly injured Blast City Mayor Mastar Blastar told a press conference that was not attended by any media representative that the city was having a blast when the blasts occurred one after the other, with a 59 second time gap.

Blastar died of shock a little later, sources who did not wish to be identified, stated.

Police officials in the blasted city were all believed dead and were thus not available for comment.

Rescue services from neighboring towns, cities, districts and nations have been requisitioned. The United Nations has also been approached for assistance.

A spokesperson for Secretary General Kofi Annan said the request would be discussed threadbare at a General Assembly meeting in a week and would be granted only after approval of all participants of the meeting.

World leaders, including United States President George W Bush and British Prime Minister Tony Blair have blasted those responsible for the blasts. We will request Israel to launch precision missile attacks against those responsible, no matter which part of the world they were in, they asserted in a very strongly worded statement released exclusively to CNN and BBC.

Bush has offered to personally adopt the blast stricken city. He also named it a sister city of New York City.

All major television stations have decided to black out coverage of the blasts as it would give undue publicity to terrorists they stated.

CNN and BBC, however, decided to run blank screens for 24 hours as a mark of respect for the victims.

Guinness Book of World Records officials are investigating the authenticity of the reports of the blasts for inclusion in the 2006 edition of the best-selling book.

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