Death dies in remote Indian village

Death died an untimely death at a remote village in India.

Death was aged more than 50 billion years old and was living a reclusive life in the village, which the Indian authorities have refused to identify for national security reasons as they feared a deadly backlash from purists.

Psychoanalysts said with Death’s death the whole world would live forever.

God and Satan have deeply mourned the ‘unfortunate death’ of Death. In a first of its kind joint press release they said the death would affect residency at Heaven and Hell.

Both said they would work out a joint project that ensures people die so that they can go to either Heaven or Hell.

They have approached the multinational Glaxo to work out a drug to kill people when the time comes for their souls to depart from Earth.

The two said if all their efforts fail, as a last resort, they would shift operations to Mars.

The Pope has welcomed the long-awaited death of Death.

He waved his hand and offered a smile when asked for his reaction.

Saisuresh Sivaswamy, a godman from India, said he was busy with other earthly matters concerning life and death, and that he would e-mail his response at a later date.

The Art of Living Foundation spokeswoman Neema Kamdar said it was a major victory for Foundation founder Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, all his followers and the living universe.