Death dies in remote Indian village
Death died an untimely death at a remote village in India.
Death was aged more than 50 billion years old and was living a reclusive life in the village, which the Indian authorities have refused to identify for national security reasons as they feared a deadly backlash from purists.
Psychoanalysts said with Death’s death the whole world would live forever.
God and Satan have deeply mourned the ‘unfortunate death’ of Death. In a first of its kind joint press release they said the death would affect residency at Heaven and Hell.
Both said they would work out a joint project that ensures people die so that they can go to either Heaven or Hell.
They have approached the multinational Glaxo to work out a drug to kill people when the time comes for their souls to depart from Earth.
The two said if all their efforts fail, as a last resort, they would shift operations to Mars.
The Pope has welcomed the long-awaited death of Death.
He waved his hand and offered a smile when asked for his reaction.
Saisuresh Sivaswamy, a godman from India, said he was busy with other earthly matters concerning life and death, and that he would e-mail his response at a later date.
The Art of Living Foundation spokeswoman Neema Kamdar said it was a major victory for Foundation founder Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, all his followers and the living universe.