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Location: Mumbai, Maharashtra, India

Senior Assistant Editor, The Times of India newspaper

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Bush critics to migrate to Mars

Anti-United States President George W Bush Foundation members have, at a secret meeting, unanimously decided to migrate to Mars.

The members, in a resolution adopted 10 billion to zero, said they could no longer tolerate Bush’s presidency and decided that there was no place on Earth to avoid him. They thus opted for Mars.

They have approached the National Aeronautics and Space Administration to organize space missions to Mars, as quickly as possible. They want one mission to take off everyday.

Each member will pay for his own one-way ticket to Mars.

Going by various opinion polls conducted in the United States over the last few months, the foundation members felt there was no way anyone could defeat Bush.

Bush, they said, staged a global public relations coup, with the handing over of power to the people of Iraq two days before schedule.

However, Bush, in a one-minute address to the nation telecast on Iraq Television, told Americans he was not one to take defeat lying down. ‘I will not give up. They have high hopes if they think they are safe from me on Mars,’ he asserted.

Bush aides said technically Bush has control over Mars too. ‘We can stop water supply on Mars. Let’s see how his critics live,’ an aide laughed.

Independent observers said the foundation’s plan effectively meant that there would be no opposition to Bush on Earth.

Meanwhile, residents of Mars have welcomed the foundation members to their planet.


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